The Feelings of a Shell
by Wanderer of the Sky
Summary: -AU World: No demigods, just humans- The world is a very hard place, the reality can crush people. So many people have suffered to the cruel fate of this world; depression, anxiety, maybe even to the point of suicide. Because that is what the world does; it crushes you, it turns you into a shell.
**A/N:** _Hey guys, I'm back! Um, I'm sorry that I have been absent for a few days, I was just working on a major multi-chapter fic on Wattpad, and I stopped caring for everything else. The thing is; I'm running out of ideas for stories, and I was just wondering and asking if you guys can **send** me ideas for stories (I will have to approve of them first). Also this story is really really really really really really depressing, I am actually going through a hard time right now and school is a major part of it. Sorry for being so late in things and I hope you all have the heart to forgive_ me.
 **Disclaimer:** _I do not own Percy Jackson._

 **Criticism or any form of advice is highly appreciated!**

 ***MAJOR TRIGGERING. WARNINGS ARE BLASTING RIGHT NOW!***

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 **The Feelings of a Shell**

Percy stared at the work on his desk in frustration, the words swirling and not making any sense. You see, Percy wasn't a stupid boy, people may _call_ him stupid, but that doesn't mean he actually was. He always tried his best, just like what his mother always told him to, but it was just so hard. He never knew why he was like this, why he had to be this stupid, but there are people who are telling him that he's fine the way he is, right? Ha, nope! Wrong!

Percy grew up with his mother, the woman that has always been there for his whole life, well, until she died. His father had left him before he was even born, cursing his mother for a life-time of troubles. However, no matter how hard it was for both of them, their chins were up and they always smiled, their pearly white teeth being the light through the darkness. But, in the end, the light will always die.

Percy remembered it like it was yesterday, he and his mother were walking home when he had heard it, the screeching of the tires as the moving force skidded. His mother had wide eyes, assessing the situation immediately. She stared at her son, memorizing his features for the very last time. Her eyesight became blurry, she wanted to live, she wanted him to get married, she wanted so see her grandchildren, but alas, fate had another choice. She kneeled down at her son, promptly kissing him on the forehead. "I love you." A faint push and a gasp could be heard as the car made its hit.

He was alone now, no one with him. He _was_ adopted, but his family didn't really see him for who he truly was. All they saw was a nuisance, all they saw was a pet they had to take care of because they were being paid, so they treated him like one. They never really remembered Percy, nor his birthdays, his parents only really seemed to pay attention to their main son.

Percy laughed darkly, his life reminding himself of the life of Harry Potter. "But not all of us gets a happy ending," He thought as he continued his homework, well, _trying._

Percy's life at school was only worse, not because of the constant bullying, but because of the loneliness. Even when he was young, everyone ignored him like the plague. When he walked through the hallways at school, if someone actually saw him, he would always hear something derogatory. _Maybe I am the plague, maybe I am some sickness that needs to be gotten rid of. Because that's who I am, right? Absolutely nothing, I'm no one, no one important. I'm a stupid, good-for-nothing kid that deserves nothing._

It wasn't any good in class either, the teacher would constantly berate him, even though he was trying his absolute best at paying attention, even though he was trying his best to read. But he couldn't, his disease of Dyslexia always acting up. His teacher didn't know he had this, Percy always tried to tell him, but the teacher always thought that it was just some excuse so that he didn't have to read in class.

Percy didn't really have any friends either, not one. He was the nobody, the invisible shadow that everyone stepped on. Especially Luke, Percy actually used to be friends with him, but then he started beating Percy up, a punch here or there. But most of all, Percy hated it when Luke would taunt him and make fun of him. Luke would make fun of his mother in front of him, he would say that Percy was a good for nothing, a _mistake._ And Percy took it, he took it all in, because it was true. Everything that Luke would say would be true.

It was night, Percy was in the corner, his breathing ragged. He couldn't escape it this time; the incoming panic attack. And no one would help him, he was just there, useless, and without any help. He knew that his parents didn't know he had panic attacks; he also knew that his parents never seemed to notice his constant wearing of long-sleeves. If they couldn't see the simplest of things, then how can they notice anything important. Like how Percy tried to commit suicide so many times, like how he tried to drink bleach, yet he survived.

The reason Percy's attack came was just from the stupidest of things; homework. The numbers messed with his mind and he couldn't simply get it out, it was so frustrating! _Suffocating!_ Percy felt useless more than ever before. His homework was a few papers to re-write, but then it became stacks, then it became his life. He hated how it controlled him, how he felt like he wanted to shoot himself when he got an answer wrong on a test, how his parents would look at him in disappointment when they saw a 'B.' _He hated all of it!_

He brought a knife to his wrist, feeling the cold metal. He wanted to just move it, just a simple slice. That was it, just _one_ and it would all be over, but he just couldn't do it.

Percy cried hard that day, pissed off on how weak he was. How he could never be the perfect son his family wanted, how his brother Jason was so much better than him. He was pissed off that he couldn't end his life.

He went to school the next day.

"The essay is due next month, remember that. Make sure that you don't plagiarize, the next time someone does; the principal's office you go." The bell gave a sharp rang, removing Percy from his thoughts. "Alright, everyone out. Percy, stay behind, I need to talk to you." Percy just sighed, this was the fifth time this week that the teacher had to talk to him.

He smiled anyway.

When the class left, Percy walked out to his teacher's (Chiron) desk. "Do you need something Mr. Brunner?" He asked sweetly, his smile making his teacher relax. However, Mr. Brunner missed the way his eyes just hollowed out, and how his smile was perfectly fake.

Mr. Brunner smiled back, happy to see his student smiling. "You're not in trouble, Percy. I was just worried, your grades have been going down, and I have been hearing complaints from the school about some people bullying you." Percy's smile wavered for a short second, though gone unnoticed. "I already notified your brother about this, he was very worried for you."

Percy inwardly grimaced, "I'm sure he was. I think that's him outside, I'll see you later, Mr. Brunner."

The teacher nodded, opening the door for him. "Of course, and if you want some help, you are always welcome here after school."

Percy just waved and exited the room, not happy that Jason was standing there before him in his full assholery-glory. "Hey Jason, what's up?" He asked him in a cheerful tone.

"Don't give me that shit, Percy." Jason demanded, his ears red and his eyes furious, the once blue innocent eyes were now full of rage. "I know what's been going on, I know about the bullying, your _teacher_ told me. I can't believe it, Percy, your teacher told me and not you! Do you understand how worried I am for you? We're _brothers,_ Percy, we're supposed to tell each other things. You're not supposed to keep secrets like those to yourself, especially secrets like you being bullied."

Percy just scowled a him, "Really? We're _'brothers,'_ sure, keep believing that shit. We're are not brothers, a person that I would call brother is someone that isn't you. 'Brother' is someone that I trust, someone who actually _gives a shit._ "

Jason took a step back; he never knew that Percy could be like this. He never understood why Percy was being so stubborn. When he was younger, he never really did like Percy and how annoying he was, but now, he was actually worried. "What are you talking about? I care, Percy, I've always cared about you." Okay, maybe that's a little exaggerated, but he did _start_ to care.

Percy just scoffed at him, knowing how much of a lie that actually was. Where was Jason when he fell down and cried? Where was Jason when people bullied him and he just walked by, not knowing that his 'brother' was on the floor bleeding? Where was Jason when Percy cut himself? Where was he when Percy cried every night in the empty, dark corner of his bedroom. "Really, if you cared, then…what's my favorite color?"

Jason stared at him shocked, "Percy, what the hell are you doing?"

"No seriously!" Percy exclaimed, "Answer the questions, Jason. What's my favorite color?" Percy waited silently, knowing that Jason didn't know.

Jason was just slowly panicking, what _was_ Percy's favorite color? Why didn't he know something as simple as that? Percy has been with them for how long? "I-I—"

"What do I like? What do I do after school every day? Who do I like?" Percy stated question after question and Jason couldn't answer _any_ of them. Percy just stared at him silently, tears almost coming down his face. "When is my birthday?"

Jason stood still, he must have known something _like that_ , right? But no, not a single answer came to his mind as he ransacked his brain. Tears started forming in his eyes, "I-I'm sorry. I d-didn't—"

"It's a bit too late for that, don't you think?" Percy muttered softly as the tears forming fell in small rivulets. Sometimes, Percy wondered if Jason knew _anything_ about him.

Jason ran, ran away from the brother that he promised he would take care of. He was so disappointed, disappointed that he couldn't do anything to help, that he didn't know _anything_ about the brother he had lived with for so long. Where was the brother that smiled at him and always wanted to hold his hand? Where was the brother who picked flowers for their mother every Saturday just so that she would remember his birthday? Where was brother that smiled _for real?_

However, there was no such thing. That brother died, along with the feelings that he had left. There was a shell now, a shell that was suffocating with everything, a shell whose thoughts were _drowning_ him to the very depths of anxiety.

Percy was a shell that flew off a building the very next day.


End file.
